Originally presented at Mystic South 2024
Where and when: Mystic South 2024 (Atlanta, GA) — Saturday, July 27, 4:30 PM, Dunwoody A
Links mentioned in the presentation:
- Detailed guide to discernment
- Storm Goddess page
- Contact me (scroll down, under “contact”)
Part I — Reaching out
Introduction
Hi everyone. I’m Arya, I use she/her pronouns, and I’m oathed to an unnamed Storm Goddess, whom I’ve been devoted to for over 5 years now.
Today I’m going to be talking about unnamed deities; gods whose name and stories have been lost to time. But this story is more than that — it is a story about how the gods are returning; how we’re building relationship with them; a story about how they are more a part of our life than before.
Last year, I attended a virtual talk by Morpheus Ravenna about Cathubodua, an ancient Gaulish battle goddess related to the Morrigan. She is a goddess with an established priesthood, a remarkable number of followers, with prayer and devotion written for Her. And yet, all we have in the archaeological record is a not-quite-intact stone inscription that’s missing the first letter of Her name: _ATHUBODUA, found in what is modern-day France. A devotee of Her wrote that inscription as part of a vow. That’s all we got. Through etymological, linguistic, and anthropological research, people managed to piece back together Her devotion.
But it was close. Very close. A single artifact is what separates Her name being remembered from Her name being forgotten. That’s a pretty intense thought to reflect on.
How many such inscriptions are still out there, waiting to be discovered? How many gods don’t even have a surviving record?
My story — Storm Goddess
Storms are alive, there is a strong, fierce, primordial energy there. It truly felt like the energy of a goddess. That was the energy that I connected with a little over five years ago when I was just starting out on my Pagan journey. It was an energy I felt a strong affinity to, and which embodied that whom I wanted to become. I started from the assumption that there would be a deity for everything, so it felt fitting to reach out to the “Goddess of Storms”.
And then, after a while of greeting Her within the storm, She answered.
I’m not the only one. I know quite a few people who worship unnamed gods. How does that connection first happen?
You can reach out yourself. I connected with the energy of the storm because of what the storm represented. Perhaps there is similarly an energy in your life you want to create a stronger connection with.
A god could reach out to you. Many pagans have this experience. Some feel a subtle but persistent call that takes a while to identify. Sometimes a god appears when we need them most, in an intense experience or dream. Sometimes a god just digs their claws in your back and proclaims, “you’re mine now”. Then goes the process of figuring out who it is; you look up the details, what they looked like, how their energy felt, what they said, what they were associated with (moon, rain, forest). Most of the time you find a name. Not always.
Don’t feel bad if you are hesitant or mistrustful at the beginning, whether you reach out or are being called. I believe that the gods are virtuous. But it’s not always gods whom we make contact with, and not everyone has the best of intentions.
Is it a god? That is a very loaded question, which isn’t helped by the theological nuances of the question “what is a god?“. I don’t have a good way to answer that for you. In my case, I reached out to the Storm Goddess through the raw energy of storms. It’s hard in a situation like that for there to be a case of mistaken identity. I also had an extremely intense experience with Her when I just knew. Many others whom I’ve spoken to also “just knew”. There is generally an intensity and a profound sense of “more” surrounding experiences with gods that’s as hard to describe as it is to confuse with anything else.
Even with gods, trust takes time to build. If you decide to answer the call, you don’t need complete trust to start building a relationship. But if you do decide to take that leap, always keep this question in the back of your mind: is this relationship healthy and empowering? Or does it feel domineering, abusive, or stifling?
Start small, and let your trust grow over time.
Part II — Personal practice
So, let’s talk about establishing a practice.
Fundamentals
Name or no, we are doing the same things that we’ve been doing for thousands of years. We pray, we make offerings, we do devotional acts, we learn about our gods. We reach out to them for advice or guidance, or we spend time in meditation connecting with their energy. We get inspired by them and incorporate their virtues in our lives. These fundamentals will serve us well.
Since this is uncharted territory, it can be frustrating to not know what to offer or say in prayer, or not be able to easily look it up or ask another devotee, but this is an opportunity to reflect on our deity’s qualities and who They are. “Who are They?”, “What are Their values?”, “What do They want?” are questions you really need to sit with, not just to write a powerful prayer or come up with a meaningful offering, but also as a foundation of your relationship.
This is also a way to approach terms of address — I keep it simple and say “goddess”, “Storm Goddess”, or similar in my prayers. You can also think about Their qualities or associations, or your relationship with Them. Addressing deities by titles such as “Mother ____”, “Bringer of ____”, and other honorifics and epithets is common.
These questions can’t be answered in the theoretical. I can theorize that a storm represents chaos, change, or destruction. But until I connect with Her directly and experience those things within Herself, they are just my preconceptions of who She might be. I could be wrong. I figured that playing my flute for Her would be a great devotional act, but until I did it and felt that connection, it was just a hypothesis.
Consider what actions would honor Them. Meditate, reach out, and listen. Spend time in places where you feel Their energy. Focus on direct, intimate connection, so you can hear and feel directly from Them.
One fundamental way we connect with our gods is by embodying their virtues and values. This is why those questions are so important. When I reached out to the Storm Goddess, I wanted, really I needed, to let myself be transformed and become more like the storm. But deep, transformative practice takes so much vulnerability. That trust is built over time. As you connect more deeply, think: are you being empowered, or are you made to feel diminished or less than? When you put your trust in your deity, is that trust honored or taken advantage of? Are your boundaries being respected? If you are welcoming this energy in your life, how is it transforming you? Who are you becoming? Trust is how you open yourself up to powerful, intimate, ecstatic experiences with your deity. Building trust is a reciprocal act, one in which you are an active, sovereign participant with agency.
Discernment
Especially as you go deeper, this path is heavily reliant on UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis, basically your own personal experiences). This doesn’t help with uncertainty and impostor syndrome. “Was what I experienced real?” “Am I really connecting, or is it all in my head?”
This is where a discernment practice comes in. Discernment is the act of identifying what is truly happening. Most importantly here, it is the fundamental question of “How can I tell apart deity communication from my own inner thoughts?“.
I wrote a very detailed guide on discernment (seriously, that guide is almost as long as this talk…), but here’s a very, very abbreviated version:
- What is the context? Spiritual experiences don’t happen in a vacuum. When and where did the experience happen? What state were you in: awake, in meditation etc.?
- What are your biases? We are never neutral receivers of messages. Did you just ask a loaded question? Are you really hoping for (or fearing) a specific answer?
- What is your emotional state? Some emotional states can make it hard to discern. Are you refreshed, or tired and emotionally out of whack? refreshed or dead tired? Calm, or emotionally out of whack? Is there some trauma or guilt coming up? If you’re not in a position to discern properly, take a step back and respectfully ask to postpone communication when you’re in a better place.
- What do you know about the deity so far? Either from past experience (Keep a detailed journal! Make sure to also record your raw experience, not just your interpretations, as those can change over time.), or from your research. Did it sound like Them? Don’t limit yourself to your current understanding (They will surprise you…) but if something seems completely out of character, it warrants further investigation.
- What does Their energy and voice feel like? Over time you’ll learn to identify your deity’s voice, energy, and placement. Was there a sense of connection or presence? Did the voice carry a recognizable energy? Or did it feel more like your own inner thoughts?
- Do you need confirmation? If something’s really consequential, maybe you need to ask for a more direct sign, or confirm with divination. (It helps to have multiple ways to communicate.) But ask yourself if you really need confirmation or are just avoiding doing what needs to be done.
Research
Research! How do you do research without a name? There’s a few approaches.
- Research associations or domains. I’m devoted to a Storm Goddess, so it makes sense to research Storm Goddesses. Are there any patterns? For example, storm goddesses are known to be fierce, intense, and destructive. Are there any subtle or non-obvious associations?
- Research of your specific experiences. I felt that there was a connection between the Storm Goddess and battle, as I had felt storm energy when doing martial arts practice. There is historical precedent for this. (For example, Inanna.)
- Look for things to enrich your practice. For example, historical offerings for related deities, divination practices, or prayers you can adapt. For example, ancient Etruscans used a form of lightning divination where they would divine messages based on patterns and timing in the lightning bolts. I haven’t incorporated that in my practice specifically, but I certainly divine through the movements of storms.
- Learn the science. For example, if you’re devoted to a forest deity, learn about the science of how trees grow and communicate. There is inspiration there. Learning how storms form and grow has helped me create a guided meditation based on the lifecycle of a thunderstorm.
- Search less obvious sources: comparative mythology, related mentions in folklore, associations in art and literature, and so on. For example, a common storytelling trope is that storms are associated with change, which also mirrors my own experience.
The results of your research can then help you try out new offerings, new ways to connect, and new ways to interpret your experiences. You can then experiment with those ideas in your practice, gain new spiritual experiences that you can research, and so on. Research-led practice and practice-led research will feed into each other, creating a virtuous cycle.
Find academic sources, well-cited books, or look through primary sources like historical or archaeological records. Google Books, Google Scholar, libraries, and journals are all good sources.
But be mindful: the more obscure the subject of research is — and it likely is very obscure — the more prone it is to some speculative connections. Even academics are going to be drawing some… creative parallels that may not necessarily be there. It’s good to vet and diversify your sources.
Just as a reminder: your research informs your practice; it doesn’t dictate it. Don’t discard your experiences based on what you find, or don’t find, during your research.
Finding a name
I may have conspicuously dodged a topic of discussion so far, and that is finding a name for the deity you’re connecting with.
Names have power. Not just around identity and shared worship, but also the name itself carries meaning and significance.
This is the area I’m asked the most about, and I have the fewest answers to. When I tell my story about the Storm Goddess, many people come to me suggesting a name (sometimes with a lot of certainty) — have you looked into Oya? An Cailleach? Istar? Kymopoleia? Tempestas? etc. Some very obscure names, too, that I hadn’t heard of before.
With the exception of some stragglers — I haven’t been to the library recently — I ran all the names down. She’s not any of them. How do I know? Aaahhh… I don’t honestly, not for sure. For some, the lore doesn’t match. For others, their energy doesn’t match. Or my experiences don’t resonate; there isn’t that spark of recognition.
Some have asked me why I don’t ask the Storm Goddess for a name — but do I trust my discernment if I hear something back? Discernment can be hard at the best of times, and names are complex, culturally informed things. Some have suggested I give Her a name. After all, all deities were once unknown and unnamed; a name must have once been uttered for the first time. But something has always stayed my hand in this respect.
I don’t have the answers. So, in the meantime, She remains unnamed to me, and finding a name is not my top priority. Connecting with Her is.
Community
This path can be very lonely; a community is important. But a community is more than that: it’s a place where others can listen to your experiences and give you ideas and feedback. It’s a place where you can ground and validate your practice. You’ll have people who can encourage you or give you new ideas. It’s a place to broaden your horizons: your Pagan practice is likely much more than worshipping this one deity.
You will also meet people who have similar relationships with their deities. Some of the work I do for the Storm Goddess is intense, demanding, fiercely transformative. Other people’s experiences with the Morrigan really resonated with me and helped me navigate the challenges of deeper practice. The Morrigan and the Storm Goddess are very different deities, and yet reading about the Morrigan and talking to Her devotees helped.
Community goes beyond the people you know in this world. Maintain your relationships with spirit allies and ancestors. You can also connect with those who came before you in this path; ancestors of spirit who may have worshipped the same deity; you can reach out directly or ask your deity for an introduction. I wouldn’t do this right away; let your relationship crystallize first. Even with named gods, how people relate to them has changed over time, and your practice is your own. If and when you do this, prepare for the experience to be more intense than you expect.
Part III — Deep work
Dedication and priesthood
The culmination of years of doing everything I’ve talked about in this workshop has been the completion, right before last year’s Mystic South, of my oaths of dedication to the Storm Goddess. It took years of devotion and an absolute tour de force in the months leading up to it, but I had built up enough trust to offer Her a lifetime of devotion and service. It is, to this day, one of the best things I have ever done, and one of the hardest.
If there’s nothing else you take from this workshop, I hope that my experience shows that it’s possible to build a trusting, empowering, healthy relationship even if you don’t know the name of your deity.
Although not explicit in my oaths, I serve as priest to the Storm Goddess.
If you are called to serve in a formal way, know that it is a valid path. It can be a bit daunting — and really hit that impostor syndrome — since there’s no formal structure, nor is there a group to tell you “congratulations! you’re a priest now.” But if we can bring back connections to gods lost to time, there’s no reason why we can’t bring back their priesthood, or create a new one. The work is there, and there’s a lot of it, if you feel called.
My own role involves helping others connect with Her, writing rituals, providing spiritual support, sharing knowledge and research, and generally rebuilding Her worship and practices. I’m also a source of general information around storm practices and storm magic. I am here to serve Her and Her community.
The return of the Gods
Wait, Her community? Yeah.
If you continue on this path, eventually something truly magical will happen. You’ll talk with some person or other, or browse a forum, and you’ll meet someone with uncannily similar experiences. They somehow found a connection with the same god. And then you’ll meet another, and another. Some will have built relationships with the same deity, and some will only have passing experiences.
I will never forget the absolutely surreal few weeks around last year’s Mystic South when I heard of no less than four people who have met the Storm Goddess in some capacity. That number has only increased since then. Every once in a while, someone reaches out to me, telling me that they’ve felt Her call, and asking me for advice. Just last month, I saw two people on Reddit talk about their experiences with Her. I’d never met these people, and yet they were talking about the same goddess!
That is a powerful, wondrous, overwhelming, surreal experience. How? How can someone I never met know the same unnamed Goddess? But, of course, it’s because you’re not the only one She has called.
Talk. Meet. Exchange stories and ideas. You’ll learn things that you couldn’t have any other way. You’ll see, through others’ experiences, how much more your deity is than just your own connection to them. But most importantly, you’ll know you’re not alone, and that is such a powerful feeling. The Gods are returning. They are calling us. And we are here to answer that call and be part of something bigger.
I hope this workshop has inspired you to reach out to the unnamed energies that are all around us and start forming relationships with them, like our ancestors once did for the first time.
Thank you.